Tuesday, June 24, 2014

10/29/01: MONDAY, MONDAY - CAN'T TRUST THAT DAY

According to the rumor mill at the office, today would be the lay-offs.  I had been stressed about this for long enough, I was kind of glad we were finally getting to it.

I dressed in all black for the occasion.  I also flushed the Xanax and sleeping pills down the toilet.  I had taken one of each since I had the prescriptions filled in Los Angeles.  The sleeping pills didn’t seem to effect me much, but the one time I took a Xanax at work, I ended up dancing with some hoola-hooping girls in Times Square in front of my office building.  It felt really good, but I’m not convinced that it counts because it was induced by a mind and mood-altering drug.

So on this Monday, I dressed in black and flushed the drugs.  It’s just me and my higher power on this one.  Untreated feelings can incite acts of self-destruction, but feelings themselves won’t kill me.

I went to work as usual, half-expecting at every step that my ID had been deactivated,  my email shut off and the lock on my office changed.  None of that was the case, though, so I went to my first meeting.

After that meeting, I left a message for one of my bosses.  What should I do?  I asked.  He replied:  You have a meeting scheduled tomorrow with HR.


I spent the rest of the day talking to co-workers, speculating, spewing and reassuring.



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